The father’s place in the family
A profound change
The father’s role during pregnancy
The father’s role during childbirth
After the birth…
A profound change
Today we are witnessing a profound change with regard to the father’s place in the family.
This change is particularly noticeable if one compares two successive generations of fathers.
With regard to pregnancy and childbirth, no term exists to designate what happens on the father’s side of things.
In the Dictionary of Psychology (Doron and Parot, 1998), not only does the care of the newborn enter into the definition ”mothering”, but so does “everything that is essential for his survival and his physical and mental development: love, stimulation, support, handling, talking to him, etc.” and in French this word does not have a masculine equivalent.
The father’s show of emotion on the birth of his baby was traditionally restrictive because it was considered indecent whereas today it can be considered as “added-value” to a man’s virility.
Some clinicians even claim that the father’s virility is more of an obstacle to fulfilling his fatherhood, something that prevents him from fully benefitting from it.
Becoming a father is an important transition for which there is no specific ritual in industrialised countries.
Yet some nations practice the “couvade ritual”: this involves a father experiencing some of the behaviour of his wife near the time of childbirth. In this instance the father is completely aware that he is imitating the pregnant or parturient woman. However, when clinicians report disturbances with the father relating to pregnancy such as indigestion, abdominal pain, bowel problems, backache, dental problems and weight gain, etc. it would appear to be a “psychosomatic couvade”, a physical expression of unreleased mental tension.
For the man becoming a father, knowing the mother to be pregnant can be a puzzling experience, especially if he does not have many opportunities to talk about it to those in his immediate entourage.
Article written by Christophe Pénicaut, clinical psychologist, graduate of École de Psychologues Praticiens de Paris (Paris School of Practising Psychologists). More information at the end of the article.
